two days in a roll..my xanga essays are on a roll!!!! XDDDDDDDDDD

so recently, i've finished reading this chick novel 'Can you keep a secret?' (thanks to cin)..it's about a girl...who had 'accidentally' told her other half (at that time she didn't know that he was THE ONE) about all her secrets...and about the disadvantages/advantages for having someone who know so much about you etc and stuff...the point i am trying to make today isn't really about the novel...it's about this random tot that i had while i was taking the bus home tonight: is there really a person on earth who possibly knows of ALL your secrets....not only facts but as well as you deep true feelings inside of you?

come on...be honest!!! i bet there must be something that you from your best best best bestest friend0...yet i mean is..yeah you could have possibly tell your best friend about what happened..all the happy stuff embarass stuff sad stuff (that you might not want to mention about again in your life)...but is that ALL about that? what about your feelings?....i am positive that are some hidden thoughts or feelings that you have not told (or forgotten if that will makes you feel better) or shared with your best friends...why is that? ur embarss to say even tho he/she is ur best friend?  hah dun assume i know the answer cuz i am writing this entry..i'm striving for one too..is it becuz you think there are something tat's better kept inside and only for yourself? is it becuz you think that your best friend would disagree what you said and you didn't bother telling?  is it becuz if you tell your friend what you think you are gonna get scolded by your friend who got a completely different set of values apart from yours?

look around and see...do you see differenp groups of people around whom you consider them as your best friend but yet they do not share the same secret/knowldge ofs yours?  A friend knows about you and X guy that ur seeing while B friend knows about you and X guy plus the Y guy that you had a fling with and C friend knows about you and X guy and Y guy and Z guy who you had slept with...hahaha..why is it?....to me...it's a matter of understanding...like you won't 'play piano to a cow' and you know well enough who would be able to take different parts of ur secret world and still give you their valuable advices and opinions.....it's not like u purposedly intentionally missed out certain information - but you see no point of sharing that piece of secrets if you feel that you will just be blown away....but that doesn't mean that you dun treat the person your best friend because of the things that you two went thru and you two just click in certain ways etc....like a pair of best friends could still well be consider best friends eventho all they do is just sat there and not talk during the whole time spent together...haha..it's guess it's hard to find someone who knows you in side out out side in (hahaha i dun even know myself that well enough!!)...//end of secrets

i'm sure we do..sometime in our lives that we judged someone initially by theirs looks...the rumors...heard from the grapevine kinda stuff....it's kinda unfair but it's part of the human nature...that happens to me a lot of times when i first met some ppl i tot i would never be able to get along with but actually they had became my best friends!..this is inevitably in this evil world where ppl are trying to protect themselves in the best possible ways and avoid trying to get hurt by trusting the wrong people..that's like the first line of defense for most of the ppl..especially in hk where ppl have this big thick wall built around them and refuse to let out their own personality when they first met new friends...not did i realize that was a completely incorrect concept when i first started uni..but even more when i am out in the workforce meeting lotsa lotsa new friends thru various channels.....throughout these three years back in hk..i can't recall the countless occasions where i've change my views totally about some people after i getta know them better.....i am not saying you are stupid enough to trust every person you possibly met.....of course you should have a sense of self awareness and also trust your own judgement and 6th sense..can't be an innocent sheep thinking 'oh there are no bad guys iin this world and people are all kind in nature'...often i found people are more reluctant to open themselves....and if ur not opening urself ppl sense it and they will be acting the same in return and cycle continuess..walls building thicker and thicker and that's why people are saying 'it's very hard to find true friends nowadays'.....

first you have to realize:.. not all rumors are true.  i liked how i was talking to my friend how many of the rumorss that we heard are from the victims point of view and of course they  will 'draw black' as much as possible about that person la......one of my best friend..she might possibly have the worst reputationi around my other friends who know her and always telling me to be careful about her and stuff and etc...but still she stays as one of my true best friends becuz i believe she treats me dearly from her heaert and i know there's no other person in tthis world who can argue with me about her true heaerts to me.  she loves me and i love her...that's it!! who cares what she did to other people or what i hearad from other people..that's enough for her to be my best friend and for me to give her my true hearts.  hahaha....i am sure i might not have the most desirable reputation but yet my friend decided to approach me unbias-ly and know me as a person instead of knowing me from all these rumors...accepted my flaws and appreciated the good qualities of me..why can't we do the same?  OPEN YOUR HEART AND FEEL IT YOURSELF! - do not always get tell by the others what are stuff supposed to be like and no one knows it better than yourself...//end of juudgement