25 and couple of thoughts....

finally hitting the quarter time....now officially OFFICIALLY officialy being the mid gal.....

this year's bday wasn't as eventful as last yea...i did not have bday celebrations/dinners 7 days before and after my bday like i did for last year....to sum up:

my 1st bday dinner was at Union with my old colleagues on 2/23 followed by a conference call at 9pm on a friday night as a dessert.....wakakakka they all said i became more ELEGANT and carerer woman look alike...wakakkk i like i like....on 2/24...had dinner with my lovely bitchass and hunny flo at a french (?!) restaurant at soho..followed by a connie-got-completely-trashed-mini-bday-party at HEI HEI....which wasn't the initial intention of my little gathering at the first place.....geeez....i am never ever ever gonna get that drunk again...mid gal's body can't afford that much alchie in the system anymore.....thanks all for coming tho i had a GREAT GREAT GREAT time!!!! (^_________^).....on 2/25....went to CEO with kel kev cc and couple of other friends to past the 12am moment.....2/26 bday...lunch with my UBiatcheS whom i dearly loved and chill drinks with my other bitchass and her other colleagues at club no. 9.....wasn't til last night 3/3 i went to stanley and had a super efficient dinner which lasted for 45 minutes with my hk buddies....../end of  bday celebrations

i never tot this quarter life crisis will hit me so much......yesterday i went to have my regular eye check up where i am suppose to put down my age...and fuck...'2''5'!!!!.....just went to dinner at my porpor's place and she keeps reminding me the fact that i'm 25 and 26 according to the chinese calendar and keeps pushing me to find a guy...gosh........STOP ASKING ME THAT..when that day comes... i will BROADCAST it on TVB and let every friggin ppl in this world know that I AM MADLY IN LOVE WITH A GUY!!!

i had the slightlest bit of gloomy feeling on friday night....i got off work at 9:30pm....thinking it's friday night and a lovely adorable gal shouldn't be going home so early and should go out and have fun...called up every possible frenz that i have on my phonebook....they were either home, doing some mad drinking which i didn't want cuz i have eye check up the very next morning, or having dinner or movies....i ended up...buying 6 cans of Carlsberg Special Brew beer downstairs from 7-11...a pack of ciggarettes...and watched the Oscar til i dun remember when i fell asleep on the sofa.....that night i finally say to myself, dude, i am a lonely pathetic single girl who is 25 years old. ...and and and...with so many movies out these days i just so hope that i could find somebody who would go movies with me....i know i need to stop thinking like that but just that friday night really hit me....

i have listed out a lot of things that i want to get done this year....1) eye check up (done) 2) thorough body check 3) woman style body check 4) teeth check 5) find a hobby/interest 6) drink less or try not to get drunk 7) go on a vacation with lotsa sunshines and beaches a 'hea' style holidy 8) keep dancing every saturday ....will add more when i think of more.  but seriously, i can't emphasize how important health is that i finally realized....if u get blind u can't see this beautiful world or read inspiring books.  with a great healthy body you could so many things but with a sick body all the things that ur doing daily woul seems extra hard and double the effort to finished. 

oh oh oh...and another thing....for those of my dear friends who know me well...i am that kinda person who tends to avoid a problem/situation rather than facing it...for example, if something happens, my approach will be run away, leave it there, and eventually it will be fine at the end and there would be no more problem.  today, i finally realized that it's a pessismistic kinda way to deal with problems...that is a sign of weakness......i am just not brave enough to face the problem directly cuz i am afraid to have to hear things that i dun want to hear or stuff that i dun want to see.  but leaving the problem there, won't make myself feel any better cuz it's just there to haunt me and i just can't stop thinking about it.  so, decided i need to be a stronger person, i will learned how to face with problems.....instead of the problem to keeping haunting me endlessly, why can't i just get into it and get it over it, whether it's an answer i wanted to hear or not, at least i know the answer.  so saturday i did my first step...and i think i have gotten the answer already today.....which i felt great today becuz i dun have to keep linger on this anymore.  so...this year..i will be a STRONGER CON CON AND NOT BE AFRAID OF ANYTHING!!

2007

so a year has passed......new year new beginning (?)

so many things happened since my last entry...arghh....i guess it will take me ages to type them all out...well..since theres wasn't really much that happened..in short...

1) London Trip 11/20 - 12/19 - it wasn't as good (or as bad) as i expected..i mean...seriously it was BORING..work work...shopping...stay in the hotel...didn't really do much (or was it that i didn't want to do much there)....but of course..i gotta see some of my london colleagues..the dev team responsible for the project building up network receiving some positive feedbacks from my boss which didn't make the trip worthless.....but if you were to ask me if i had fun...hahaha..i would say it was OKAY...you could probably could tell when everytime ppl asked me how was my trip and i just ended the conversation by saying it was OKAY....so..nothing much about it....haha so i take it as part of my early bonus...heeheee

2) x'mas/new year - surprise surprise surprise! it's the usually drinking + countdown kinda thing..the most unplanned x'mas/new year i'd been thru since i'm back......but it was fun....gotta spend time with my dear friends.. v(^_________^)v

so....now it's two weeks into 2007....and i was talking to my friends and i think i'm experiencing what ppl called the quarter-life crisis...symptons include: feeling insecure about ones career (ur not at the top of the class but definitely not a newbie), confusing identity within ones family (you are not being considered as an adult but yet you can't say that ur a teenager anymore), reaching the social circle plateau (or the shrinking of), feeling demotivated and uninterestingly towards  a lot of stuff that you once had passion for, and finally the fruistrations about relationships.  In sum - I AM LOST

for the last two weekends...i've stayed home alone....i did had an urge to call friends up for dinner or drinks but i dropped that idea and feel that i am more comfy at home.  i wanted to get a massage on sunday but knowing that it will be crowded everywhere and feel that i should stay home instead.  when i looked at the nice weather outside thinking that i've wasted my weekends - but there's nothing that could push me out of my coach and tv (not that theres any good shows on anyway).  on weekday, i just wanna rush home asap lying on the coach and wait til bed time.  i feel the only thing that's left for me is work now. hahah..how pathetic! it's the first time in my life that i actually feel that i want to go to work and that's the only thing that could drag me out of my sick home. hahaha.....

i guess it might have been a very good opportunity for me to be alone free from distractions and actually THINK about what's ahead of me.......hahaha i am not unhappy tho - i guess i just need to figure something out and redirect the way that my life is heading towards

25 in coming in a months time.....wooo wooooo....i am no longer a sei lang mui.....grow up grow up grow up!! ^_^

Can you keep a secret? + Perception

two days in a roll..my xanga essays are on a roll!!!! XDDDDDDDDDD

so recently, i've finished reading this chick novel 'Can you keep a secret?' (thanks to cin)..it's about a girl...who had 'accidentally' told her other half (at that time she didn't know that he was THE ONE) about all her secrets...and about the disadvantages/advantages for having someone who know so much about you etc and stuff...the point i am trying to make today isn't really about the novel...it's about this random tot that i had while i was taking the bus home tonight: is there really a person on earth who possibly knows of ALL your secrets....not only facts but as well as you deep true feelings inside of you?

come on...be honest!!! i bet there must be something that you from your best best best bestest friend0...yet i mean is..yeah you could have possibly tell your best friend about what happened..all the happy stuff embarass stuff sad stuff (that you might not want to mention about again in your life)...but is that ALL about that? what about your feelings?....i am positive that are some hidden thoughts or feelings that you have not told (or forgotten if that will makes you feel better) or shared with your best friends...why is that? ur embarss to say even tho he/she is ur best friend?  hah dun assume i know the answer cuz i am writing this entry..i'm striving for one too..is it becuz you think there are something tat's better kept inside and only for yourself? is it becuz you think that your best friend would disagree what you said and you didn't bother telling?  is it becuz if you tell your friend what you think you are gonna get scolded by your friend who got a completely different set of values apart from yours?

look around and see...do you see differenp groups of people around whom you consider them as your best friend but yet they do not share the same secret/knowldge ofs yours?  A friend knows about you and X guy that ur seeing while B friend knows about you and X guy plus the Y guy that you had a fling with and C friend knows about you and X guy and Y guy and Z guy who you had slept with...hahaha..why is it?....to me...it's a matter of understanding...like you won't 'play piano to a cow' and you know well enough who would be able to take different parts of ur secret world and still give you their valuable advices and opinions.....it's not like u purposedly intentionally missed out certain information - but you see no point of sharing that piece of secrets if you feel that you will just be blown away....but that doesn't mean that you dun treat the person your best friend because of the things that you two went thru and you two just click in certain ways etc....like a pair of best friends could still well be consider best friends eventho all they do is just sat there and not talk during the whole time spent together...haha..it's guess it's hard to find someone who knows you in side out out side in (hahaha i dun even know myself that well enough!!)...//end of secrets

i'm sure we do..sometime in our lives that we judged someone initially by theirs looks...the rumors...heard from the grapevine kinda stuff....it's kinda unfair but it's part of the human nature...that happens to me a lot of times when i first met some ppl i tot i would never be able to get along with but actually they had became my best friends!..this is inevitably in this evil world where ppl are trying to protect themselves in the best possible ways and avoid trying to get hurt by trusting the wrong people..that's like the first line of defense for most of the ppl..especially in hk where ppl have this big thick wall built around them and refuse to let out their own personality when they first met new friends...not did i realize that was a completely incorrect concept when i first started uni..but even more when i am out in the workforce meeting lotsa lotsa new friends thru various channels.....throughout these three years back in hk..i can't recall the countless occasions where i've change my views totally about some people after i getta know them better.....i am not saying you are stupid enough to trust every person you possibly met.....of course you should have a sense of self awareness and also trust your own judgement and 6th sense..can't be an innocent sheep thinking 'oh there are no bad guys iin this world and people are all kind in nature'...often i found people are more reluctant to open themselves....and if ur not opening urself ppl sense it and they will be acting the same in return and cycle continuess..walls building thicker and thicker and that's why people are saying 'it's very hard to find true friends nowadays'.....

first you have to realize:.. not all rumors are true.  i liked how i was talking to my friend how many of the rumorss that we heard are from the victims point of view and of course they  will 'draw black' as much as possible about that person la......one of my best friend..she might possibly have the worst reputationi around my other friends who know her and always telling me to be careful about her and stuff and etc...but still she stays as one of my true best friends becuz i believe she treats me dearly from her heaert and i know there's no other person in tthis world who can argue with me about her true heaerts to me.  she loves me and i love her...that's it!! who cares what she did to other people or what i hearad from other people..that's enough for her to be my best friend and for me to give her my true hearts.  hahaha....i am sure i might not have the most desirable reputation but yet my friend decided to approach me unbias-ly and know me as a person instead of knowing me from all these rumors...accepted my flaws and appreciated the good qualities of me..why can't we do the same?  OPEN YOUR HEART AND FEEL IT YOURSELF! - do not always get tell by the others what are stuff supposed to be like and no one knows it better than yourself...//end of juudgement

DELAY NO MORE

long time no write now!!!! hahaha.....of coz there are things that happened during this one month period but touch wood nothing horrible happened which is fortunate enough for me to say THANK GOD

yeah life aint smooth and things do happen unexpectedly..hahah..u could probably tell from the title...delay delay delay...it's about my LONDON TRIP!! wakakka...it's now been delayed until further notice..last i heard from my boss and the team thats responsible for the project today proposed time fame 20 nov to 22 dec...which means i still have approximately two months in HK with my buddies!!!stll time to catch my zi muis bday...my october babies....(meaning broken-concon)......i dunno hahah what would a normal person think/feel when he/she is in my situation? ok like originally this london trip was supposed to be last for one week in the middle of august..so i had my greece back pack trip planned and fits perfectly into my schedule..then they start delaying and extending my stay in london...so i have to cancel my back pack trip and re-planned my hols in dec so i will be taking two whole weeks off to spend time with my lovely kashu since he will be back in HK at that time...then the trip got delayed..by one week...for another...then it was officially announced that the trip will be delayed until further notice!...and now they are telling me..it might happened between 20 nov to 22 dec...so that crashes with my planned lovely time with my kashu?!?!!?.....wakakakaka....a person in my shoes might get frustrated...confused...even furious as plans have to change constantly...but yet i am calm...hahah whenever they got new piece of info on the trip for me (and most of the times are pretty last min!!)...i dun feel fuzz or anything about...and actually it was my bosses who got frustrated and always trying to figure out from the london ppl who's their latest plan!!! hahah it's like 皇帝唔急太監急...u know what i mean?...my bosses were actually amzazd how calm i am dealing with this whole situation...haha....u know..thing about being on ur own nothing there to hold you back no plans need to be rigid really i must say is somewhat an advantage in my situation..if i were to plan a family trip and got cancel every last second..wakakakak U THINK I WON'T GET MAD TOO MEI!!!!!....o well..we'll see what's next....afterall i miss my friends in HK and i can't imagine to be w/o u guys alone in london!!!

continue with this being alone thing..hahaha...so the other day i went Happy hour with some of my friends + new friends on a thursday night..got pretty tipsy right so i went home at 1..next morning...i woke up at 9 along with a big 'FUCK' coming out my mouth the first thing i saw the alarm clock...so i told my colleague that i would be late for half an hour and plz tell my boss about it...so i went to work and my boss started to chat me 'so is everything alright? cin said that ur gonna be late this morning?'...hahahahahh i couldn't find the most legitimate reason for my lateness so i said to him 'you know..thing about living alone is that if you missed the alarm...no one is gonna be there to awke u up'...my boss went' hah'...HAHAHAHAH...i seriously think that my boss should award me for my HONESTY!!!!!! kekeke...then that day following i was in the shower...u know how my showers like..the shower curtain basically does a really bad job from preventing the water from leaking out so it would be all wet by the time i'm done showering...so i stepped out of the shower and WAHOOOOOO i slipped!!!!  thank god it wasnt like a complete fall that i didn't get hurt or anything...then i was thinking 'if i broke my leg and couldnt even walk out from the bathroom nor could i reach my phone..no one is gonna know!! i would be like stuck in the bathroom for days...months...years until my rotten smell got to my neighbors then ppl would dsicover that i got stuck in the bathroom....that was one scary tot...glad that i have friends who would call me once in a while asking whether i am still alive..haahahaha......that's random ok i know...

relatsionship relationships relationshipz!..hahaha ok...i heard stories from my frenz...it's funny how ppl will tell me their stories and everything but i would just sit there and not respond at all cuz i didn't know what to say?...but i do appreciate that my friends share with me their stories...afterall that's how we learnt...u dun expect urself to have experience all these problems (not only relationships la) to learn from ur own mistake gwar!!! it does make me think more about my own self..and more i heard ..the more i think what i want...mm...like i'm having a clearer picture as in what concon really wants and what concon doens't want!!!! hahahahaahh i am not gonna type them all out here...but yeah i know!!! keke...THANX ALL!!!!!!....my blessings to ya: the happy ones continue to become happy and the mo gum hoi sum or puzzling ones will find their way out of their problems and become the happy ones tooooooooooooooo HURHUR!!!!

it's getting to the end of september and there are still a list of items that i wanna do and looking forward to. see how many of these could be achieve when i have my MEGA NEW YEAR RECEP!

1) watch Devils wear Prada on 30 September 2) watch Click  3) watch 太丈夫2 with my CF 4) Halloween at Ocean Park with my CF 5) London Trip 6) Waiting for the arrival of Kashu and Shirley 7) planning for x'mas dinner/part/countdowns 9) farewell to loszepui 10) BBQBBQBBQ (i had 0 BBQ for this summer!! >.<..i really wanted to BBQ)

hahaha as i was typing out the list..there are FAR MORE then what's above hahaha but i am too lazy to list them out...that's enough to occupy me til the rest of the year hahahahah filled with little events with my friday drinking buddies/HH/Saturday madness.... my left hand is tired..hahahahaok i will stop!!

SIDE NOTE: ppl wonder why did i named myself AUNTIE DONNIE on msn?...the DONNIE part was ancient so i dun bother to explain here...so what happened to AUNTIE was that one day i was across the building to have dinner at my porpor's place on a saturday night...my usual attire to porpor's dindin: PJs , glasses, 0 makeups, un-blow dried hair.  so i went and after dinner i came back and get ready to go out....so in the elevator..there was this couple with their baby..i think around 6 months old?...who was actually quite cute and active..so i was playing with him and saying hi to him like i always do with random babies i dunno..then the baby's mom get all hyped up and excited and said to her son 'hai ar..that's E E (E E = auntie) ar'!!!! OMFG...wtf...i was SPEECHLESS and didn't say a word!! the baby's father looked at me for 1 sec and i think he felt the tension in the air and dare not to say aa word becuz we still have 10 floors to go and he was afraid that the end of the world starts there.................so that's me AUNTIE DONNIE!!!

(儸珨?entry杻腎酘挼喭奧偞暫....XDDDDDDDD...扂追政埻扂笯?腕湖笢恅殤!!)

挓....蜁眭琌蜄疑...蜄杻覜砑..猁琌暫飲眒?琌伄...峔衄琌扂扂儸齬酕綎蜄?!!!

1) ?茞show - 扂掀11?淏!!!!!!!!!!!!  螜華??婜暫緊扂笯?...筍扂華暫??蚕鋒奻?殿華酕暫?醴...??淕'嘉'淏...橾埏衄??蜁舑釭?  淩珨測祥珨測....政踏岍奻淩蜁婬衄?茞菴媼....洷咡踏棒暫栳釭鍔華笭夆倗萊...?伄蜁眢褫眕?善珨?舑酘騵暫攬衭...

蕻show摽朡痌:俀俀珨殿善挌憩鞦醴腔yahoo google ?茞善?善華暫垀衄昹砦!!!  焍華琌疑...挼JAN宎皺飲陑醴笢暫橾鼠type!!!! (well at least the image that he portrayed to the publiic)

2) 陔look - ?挲扂撩?yim?扂暫墿螹翌疑騵...奻?跎問鞠?扂暫陔warden...?: '?砑隱墿d?酘挩隅傻螹??'...扂?飲蜁?憩? 傻!!!肮扂熟伄!!!'..憩傖憩酘扂?陔螹徽!!  飲蜁疑傻~~~飲綎嫉豝挼~~ 閉邠!!!  扂偗扂飲衄憩?坋爛傻綎...陎珨殿馱???扂酕蜄珧....埻褽搭踮湮?衄荌砒薯...'扂撩熟傻扂腔?~~~~熟傻賸?~~~' ?扂肮湮模琌 :

挼...扂囮挼!!!
憩詫婬?扂賤熟善傻徽.......

3) 鰱華詻忒:  ?挲衄珨俀肮?疑騵?暫湮攬衭?珧...肮華琌嶱: '隻 ...蜁眭蛷汜魂赽?暫?觳...舑髶暫攬衭...坋?衄嬝?飲酕 finance.....珨堤?instead of asking what do you do...撩?筳趙珨?憩?斕酕?嶲緉俴...砑舑狟 d 蜁肮俴暫'....旂扂攬衭衱肮扂琌珨殿船蜁嗣暫挲? : '扂蛷衱..坋?衄嬝?酕production儸俴暫...砑?d 殿陳嬝?拻 (載淏:俀拻暫扂旯?飲) 暫攬衭豝飲'...扂華憩追隴酘儸?湮暫追隴憩嶱鰱華 - One Natioin, Free Love - Aug 19th!!! 衄嗣請嗣...?蜄...硐猁疑俙憩腕!!!華源眒?善...?傖?飲扂華暫....EVERYONES WELCOME!!! if ur interested....pleauuuuuuuuuuusieeeeee contact me!!!!!!!

4) 景泬豪豪黯汜: 踏彶善黯肮暫 email, ?踏俀扂華苺?嫖. ?蜄酕蛷珨?.  覜紒...蜁喭琌...疑詻虷....苤祫帤?....湮祫豖倎暫飲衄...疑腕砩....蜁嶒蜁嶒...舑嗣d...networrking狟.....祥綎扂?綎埻'formal'暫...

5) 荎眳藏: 眭瘁岍岈??~~~~~~ 奧模蚕埻暫匐堎帣珨?跎問...?酘嬝堎暫?陎...plan疑暫 (?飲蜁疑plan 疑)暫洷躍掖婦猁秏....扂笯衄傖嬝樑祫善爛帣...呾!!!!!  衄諫坋珨堎帣祫坋媼堎螹肮扂絿硎挼?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

6) 滔: 伈匙摽闚笭視...笯疑侔祥奻汔...筍扂暫闚笭砫飲鍔扂儕朸煦蹊暫埻秪....埻暫闚笭疑眕?腕疑辦殤!!!....婌奻殿馱 肮岈A挲 : '?蛷忡酘挼?'...善敁?肮岈B挲: '??滔酘挼!!蜁疑婬妘嗣徽!!!'....=T....硐祥綎??暫岈....埻扂陳婌暫 banana chocolate muffin 褫眕酕湮煦暫扂暫闚笭奻....

螖忒疑?....疑騵奻斻...緊奻狟肮滔詹琌bye bye.....餞鴦?壅坒載...渾陎鞠暫brunch with roomatets fromo different 爛測......